Staying Centered in a Polarized World

Finding balance and grounded optimism in divided and chaotic times

The headlines are loud, emotions are raw, and everywhere I look people seem more convinced than ever that they’re on the right side while others are dangerously wrong. Some even say we’re on the verge of another civil war.

I am not here to debate politics or take sides because that’s exactly what has us in this mess. Nor am I avoiding speaking my truth. What I want to share is a framework that has helped me make sense of what I see in the world, and also in myself.

It is a way of recognizing patterns, without collapsing into blame, and finding a path forward that allows me to take a grounded stand for my truth and values. And also it also helps me find a way to reconcile accountability and compassion.

Polarity in a nutshell:
Positive polarity expands freedom, trust, and connection.
Negative polarity contracts into fear, coercion, and control.
Both can show up in politics, communities, families, and in ourselves.

The real question isn’t “Which side am I on?”
It’s “Am I acting from expansion or contraction?”

Positive and Negative Polarity

The framework is simple. Positive polarity leans toward transparency, freedom, and service to others. Negative polarity trends toward fear, coercion, and control.

These polarities are not about political parties or national borders. They are about the underlying quality of energy behind an action or a system. Positive polarity expands freedom, trust, and connection. Negative polarity contracts into fear, coercion, and control.

You can see this everywhere once you start to look. In a family, positive polarity might show up as creating space for a child to make their own choices, while negative polarity might look like enforcing obedience through guilt or fear. In communities, positive polarity can be open dialogue and collaboration, while negative polarity can show up as exclusion, censorship, or scapegoating. Even in ourselves, the same choice is always present: do I act from love and openness, or from fear and the need to control?

Which means that even when I believe I am standing for the “right side,” I can still slip into negative polarity if I act from blame, wanting vengeance, or needing to convince or “save” others. All of those are just subtle forms of control.

That realization has been humbling for me. It’s harder, but more powerful, to turn the finger inward and ask, “Where am I feeding the same cycle?”

The Seduction of Vengeance and the Cycle of Polarity

Vengeance is not just a story from history books or political movements; it is alive in each of us. You can see it in the comment threads when someone “gets what they deserve,” in the satisfaction people feel when a rival fails, or in the quiet schadenfreude of watching those we dislike stumble. It is a universal impulse.

At its root, vengeance offers a counterfeit form of justice. It whispers: “If I can make them hurt the way I hurt, balance will be restored.” In moments of pain or betrayal, this can feel almost irresistible. Yet vengeance rarely delivers what it promises. Instead of healing, it deepens the cycle of harm, binding us more tightly to the very energy we want to be free from.

You can see this pattern amplified on the collective stage. In politics, when one party gains power, much of its energy is spent not on building something new, but on punishing the other side. In war, vengeance often fuels generations of conflict where neither side truly wins. Even in our culture, cancel campaigns can slide from accountability into retribution, leaving us more divided and afraid to speak.

And behind much of this is the old tactic of “divide and conquer”—manufactured division that keeps us turned against one another instead of questioning the systems that benefit from our conflict. It is a strategy that thrives on negative polarity, because the more we are locked in blame and vengeance, the less energy we have for freedom, creativity, or service to each other.

I notice this in myself too, when I catch that subtle rush of satisfaction at someone else’s downfall. It is humbling to admit, but naming it helps loosen its grip. The truth is, vengeance is seductive precisely because it masquerades as strength. In reality, it is a form of bondage—keeping us tethered to the wound rather than to our freedom.

Accountability Without Vengeance

This does not mean we excuse harm. Bypassing or sugarcoating is not the answer. When systems or individuals act in ways that diminish life, freedom, or dignity, accountability is necessary. We need to name distortion clearly.

The question is how we hold that clarity. Do we use it as fuel for vengeance, hoping the “other side” suffers? Or do we use it as a compass to orient ourselves toward something different?

For me, the balance is this: accountability is about exposing patterns that harm life so that they can be transformed. Vengeance is about perpetuating harm, often in the name of justice. One creates space for healing. The other keeps the cycle spinning.

Seeing Ourselves in the Mirror

I often remind myself that both polarities live in me. I can choose transparency or I can hide. I can respond with fear or I can respond with love. I can seek to control, or I can open to collaboration.

Owning that paradox helps me find common ground. It reminds me that no human being is purely one thing. We all carry both the light and the shadow. Which means there is always space for compassion, even when boundaries are necessary.

A Path Forward

If we want to move beyond the cycle of blame, we have to learn to hold two truths at once:

• To take a strong, clear stand against patterns of control, fear, and harm.

• To resist the temptation of vengeance and dehumanization.

That middle way is not easy. It takes practice. It takes humility. But it is the only way I know to move us closer to peace, forgiveness, and sovereignty.

I am writing this not because I have it figured out, but because I need the reminder myself. When the noise of the world gets loud, when I feel the pull of anger or despair, I return to this question:

Am I acting from positive polarity or negative polarity?

It does not answer every question, but it does help me stay oriented.

And perhaps that is what we need most in times like these.

Final Reflections

I invite you to sit with the same questions:

Where am I acting from positive polarity or negative polarity in my life?

Where do I see positive and negative polarity in the wold around me?

Notice what arises, without judgment.